The Grand Experiment: Things Remembered

Brendan and I celebrated our 10th anniversary this past Friday, on May 27. I have to write the exact date in order to prove to Brendan that I actually do know it. You see, we were married over Memorial Day weekend and while I can easily remember that much, the dates of the weekend keep changing on me every year and I can't be expected to keep that straight! I argue that it's not remembering a particular date that is important, it's being able to recall all the wonderful things about him that got us started on this path and that have kept us steady. And those things I remember.

I remember that Brendan and I met in the cheesiest, meat-market, dance club in Washington, DC. It was called Crush and if you were over the age of 22 you really had no business being there. At 26, I was clearly one of the oldest people in the place. I had gone out with some friends for a happy hour after work on Friday night and one of the group suggested we go dancing. Meanwhile, Brendan, who was 24 and also too old to be in the club, had agreed to be wingman for a friend who was supposed to meet a girl there. Neither of us had ever been to Crush before, nor did we ever go again. I went to the club hoping to find a guy who would buy my drinks. Brendan was that guy and he's been buying my drinks ever since.

I remember that we had only been dating about 4 months when it became clear our relationship was really serious. We were driving through D.C. one Sunday afternoon and for reasons I cannot recall, were talking about children. I said that I wanted to have several children and that I would likely want to have them very soon after getting married because I was already 27 and didn't want to wait. He said he'd never given it much thought. I asked him if what I had said was an issue for him and he said "no, it just gives me a better idea of how my life is going to go." We were engaged five months later.

I remember when he used to work six days a week, sixteen hours a day. He would leave home at 7:30 in the morning and get home after 11:30 pm (on a good night). And, when our first child was born and she was fussy, he would load her up in the car at midnight and drive laps around the Washington, DC beltway so that she (and by extension, I) could sleep. To this day he still gets up every time one of the children needs something in the middle of the night.

I remember how he was strong for me, and held me while I cried after two miscarriages in five months.

I remember that he has allowed me to have cats in the house, despite the fact that he's allergic to cats. He even loves the stupid cat.

I remember that he created an in home breakfast restaurant, Cafe Ooh La La, for the kids. I remember that he has carried all three children at the same time - one in each arm and one sitting on his shoulders when they were tired. He still does this now, even though they are a combined weight of more than 150lbs. I remember that he has given up countless chances to play golf or watch sports in favor of hanging out with his children.

And, I remember that he has told me every day how much he loves me. He's never missed a day.

View into the Fearrington House White Garden --
this garden was the view from our room

Ten years is a milestone worth celebrating. Thanks to my parents generously offering to watch all three children and the dog, and thanks to Brendan's father for the generous gift of a night away, we were able to spend some quality time together at the Fearrington House Inn. We were spoiled rotten - champagne and chocolate truffles waiting in our gorgeous suite; formal afternoon tea; four course dinner in the restaurant; and fabulous breakfast.